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William's Study (Diary Of A Hyperdreamer)
December 2007

Monday 24th December 2007 -- 10:00 pm 

Some sad developments since my previous diary entry but I'll refrain from documenting them here and now. These things, because they are painful and difficult, must wait for a while. So...maybe next time? time. might be more sensible.
But, tonight it is Christmas Eve and some light, no matter how feeble or flickering, should shine on my readers, no matter how dark my own corner of the universe might appear from this current vantage point.

Zipping back in time a few weeks: Emiko and I had a lovely night out, at the start of this month, with the Nelsonica team at a favourite restaurant of ours in the city of York. It was the occasion of the annual Nelsonica 'thank you' dinner, a chance for us all to spend time in each other's company and enjoy a relaxing evening after the complex demands of this year's fanconvention. 

It was also an opportunity for the team to observe their (hopefully still) esteemed hero lowering his less than inpenetrable defences and succumbing to the dubious charms of Bacchus. Which simply means that I allowed myself to become more and more hopelessly and joyfully inebriated as the evening progressed. (Oh, vine-adorned Lord of the grape, forgive me, for I know EXACTLY what I do, and more's the pity.)

As a modest token of thanks, I gave each member of the team an individually burned CDr of some brand new material that I'm considering for inclusion on my next album, 'SILVERTONE FOUNTAINS.' 

It's still, inevitably, a work in progress but this preliminary cdr has at least allowed them a glimpse of the ongoing process. I'm hoping to have the final track-listing completed in time for a late February release although this is entirely dependent upon me feeling that the album has reached its natural conclusion. Things could yet change quite dramatically as the music, and my imagination, is perpetually in flux.

Frustratingly, during the last week or two, I've created three totally new instrumentals, all three of which are more than good enough to be considered as potential tracks for the album, (alongside the 16 tunes already on the short list).
So, the project is growing, changing, slowly finding its way to its final conclusion. To saddle it with a contemporary cliche: It's an organic, ongoing process. All I can do is act as midwife.

Some of the tracks will inevitably be set aside, probably for inclusion on next year's limited edition fan-convention album, whilst others will stay, (provided they belong to the 'Silvertone Fountains' atmosphere). 

As always, I'm more enthused about the latest pieces than the earlier ones. Despite the chopping and changing, (or even because of it), the album will, I think, turn out to be a very nice work. No, let's allow no false modesty, it will be a BEAUTIFUL work!

Not long after the Nelsonica dinner, I succumbed to a nasty cold virus that has only now, two weeks later, begun to fade. Emi caught it too, (as I predicted), and she's had some uncomfortable nights, coughing and coughing and feeling totally wretched. This time of year is always busy for Emi and it's not the best time for her to feel ill. Not that there's ever a best time to feel ill. 

Despite the debilitating bugs, I have managed to deal with the Christmas shopping least to a standard that won't leave me feeling totally embarrased and inadequate. O.k...perhaps not QUITE as focussed as last year but, hopefully, not really letting anyone down. As mentioned in earlier diary entries, I do tend to take an inordinate amount of time searching for what I feel are the most appropriate gifts for my family and friends. I take a personal pride in this and get quite frustrated by having to make snap decisions because of lack of time. 

Unfortunately, despite all best intentions, time and circumstances have been against me, and more than ever this year. 
Predictably and pathetically, like many people of my generation, I'm beginning to wonder whether the original spirit of Christmas has finally been buried under the icy avalanche of commerce. The festive season seems to have become more and more stressful (and artificial) with each passing year. Yes, I know that such an opinion is regarded as a cliche and I also accept that it's probably always been that way, (despite those fantasy snow powdered dreamy Christmases of my first ten years on this earth...) But, what the heck. I STILL expect the impossible. I demand miracles and magic. But my life has already had more than its fair share of that.

Anyway, shopping done, food in the fridge and freezer, lights lit in the lounge, gifts awaiting my fumbling at the wrapping paper. (And I must turn my attention to this last task SOON.)

Still I sneak away from it all, up here to the broom cupboard that I'm audacious enough to call 'my studio,' to pick up a guitar and play. Plink, plonk, plink, strum, twang...Not for any great purpose, not for the 'latest' album or an adoring, paying audience, but simply because picking up the instrument, cradling it against my chest, feeling it resonate, hum and sing beneath my fingers, is the most satisfying, rewarding, and honest expression of being alive that I can muster. I pick up a guitar for no other reaon than the sheer JOY of doing so. 

Appears sad and pathetic written down like that, doesn't it? Well, dear reader, let me assure you that it's NOT. In fact it's magnificent, empowering, enobling, energising, ecsatatic and marvellous. I wouldn't exchange it for untold millions or the glamour and fame of a movie-star. (OR a wealthy rock star for that matter.) Despite all the hundreds of recordings I've made, there's more vibrant, essential music created in moments of spontaneity in this little room, than has ever found its way onto album, tape or hard disc. In those unrecorded, unplanned, ungaurded moments, it's just me and a guitar and the original mystic spark that united the two of us in the first place, back in 1958. For me, at 59 years old, there's simply no other reason to be doing this...

Christmas every day, a birthday every hour, ice cream for breakfast and warm, warm lips for the kissing of...


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