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CHRISTMAS IS COMING AND THINGS ARE FALLING FLAT...

Updated: Dec 9, 2018

One week today since 'Plectronica' and I'm feeling quite flat and frazzled by the present pressures of the season. Absolutely no Christmas cards written yet, (I've not found the time,) and no gift buying accomplished. A worrying state of affairs. This vague feeling of 'flatness' continues to haunt me despite attempts to overcome it...


Was over in Wakefield today to help mum with her shopping. It pains me every time to see her struggling with the basics of life. But at 90 years old, it's inevitable that things become difficult for her.


Mum is the last surviving member of my original family, the family that surrounded me in the 1950s. (And, of course, my mum was there from my birth in 1948.) My brother Ian is no longer here to offer a helping hand and share nostalgic memories of our childhood.


My dad passed away in the late '70s and I've lost both my cousins, (Walter and Ian,) plus various aunties and uncles and ancient family friends. Finding people who played a part in that period of my life is a virtually impossible task. It's all a distant memory now, a flickering black and white film, faded snapshots in scattered photograph albums, small scale and slightly out of focus.


There are echoes of remembered music, saxophones and strings. Simple, warm lyrics of songs that sing of more innocent times. Is every childhood a golden era? Or is that just the way it seems to each generation? My family, whatever it once was, has long dissolved into the mists of time and Mum and I are the only ones left that remember those long ago simpler days from the late '40s, early '50s.


Drove back from Wakefield in the pouring rain and wind and then had a dinner of fish which Emi prepared. Have been trying to catch up with lots of emails since, mostly endless Facebook notifications.


I'm not sure I would bother with Facebook, or any sort of 'social media' if it wasn't a means of keeping people in touch with my work. It certainly is a distraction from what really matters sometimes...


Almost got my studio back in working order since dismantling elements of it to facilitate the 'Plectronica' event. All will be ready by tomorrow to start recording the annual 'Dreamsville' Christmas instrumental. Once that is done, I'll then begin work on editing the video clips I took in York the other day. Putting the two together will hopefully provide me with this year's video Christmas card.


Received a lovely email from Harold today. He's now back in Los Angeles, a world away from this cold, rainy December Yorkshire. Also a very nice email from Dave Sturt, which I want to reply to soon.


Despite all this vaguely anti-climatic vibe, I'm bursting with new ideas for future releases. The muse continues to fill my life with ongoing possibilities. Still have a wealth of material in the archives to release but I'm also steamed up and ready to embark on new adventures.


Never sure whether this feverish creativity is healthy or not. 'Burning the candle at both ends' comes to mind, but it never seems like there's much of a choice. It's either constant creativity or oblivion. Time is inevitably running out, so it's important not to let go of the reins, at least not just yet. As one of my song titles states: 'Art Is Long And Time Is Fleeting.'


I remember once releasing an EP box titled 'Permanent Flame.' Well, I don't know whether it's permanent or not but, damn, it's still lit and burning...


View from the Hepworth Gallery, Monday 3rd December 2018.




© Bill Nelson 2020

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