Paul, just face it. He's forced your hand. Given you no choice. He's embarrassed you. You know what you have to do. Use his pillow. It's kinder that way. Once he's asleep he won't put up much of a struggle. I know, the idea repulses you now. But really, it does get easier with time. I know. I used to have a pretty good size family myself. The usual, three or four kids, a half dozen wives. But they hurt me as well. Come home to find the radio on tuned to Capital Radio instead of a disc from the pre-approved Nelson catalogue.
Then things went from bad to worse. I felt trapped and with few options. But I knew instictively what I had to do. Take them all out. During the course of one night so as there would be no one left to be suspicious. To make a long story short, it's been truly liberating. I can listen to Bill 24/7 and there's no one to complain if I want to put one particular Bill song on repeat for 72 hours.
No, I can assure you it's been well worth it. The hardest bit has been to bribe certain civil service employees to 'adjust' my records in regards to my marital status and that strange misunderstanding that at one time I had five children. Ha! The only other snag were the neighbours who had the tendency to ask a lot of inconvenient questions. But nowadays I'm well prepared for such eventualities. Bought some pigs, haven't I? And if you've ever listened to old 'Bricktop' from Snatch, he tells you, pigs chew through bone like it's butter...
